New Year

So today I woke up with the motivation to blog. About what I have no idea, so here’s me rambling. The last post, I wrote quite a while ago, with me claiming that was back in the grove blogging and I’d would totally be posting more… Well that didn't really happen. At the time I had felt the writer’s block going away, and a punch of motivation, but it all kind of disappeared the next day.

It’s a new year, I’m here now, and hopefully I’ll be posting again at least two more times this week. I find that when I give myself the deadline or quota to fill it stresses me out and I end up just giving up. So instead I decided to just go with the flow and blog whenever I feel like it.

Its eleven days until my twentieth birthday. Twenty… Two decades, I’m considered vintage on etsy, last year around this time I was not in a good place. Depressed, hopeless, and feeling like a failure at life. This year I am happy, hopeful, and can totally see my bright future.

This year so far, many things have happened. In a turn of events my mother is now able, and most likely will gain full custody of my older, and younger brother. With that custody, we will be moving to Arizona in June, where we will start life fresh. My mom will be with her husband, shall finish nursing school, get her dream job, and my littlest brother will start his first year high school. I plan on living my life to the fullest, and getting healthy. Madison, my sister has chosen to most likely stay in Michigan to start college, and rent an apartment with her longtime boyfriend Ben.

So many years gone by, things change, and things have not, but I’m happy, for the first time in a long time. I see a bright future ahead of me, instead of the black hole I thought I saw most of my teenage years. It’s not depressing anymore to go on Facebook and see people from my past graduating, going to college, getting married, having kids, buying their own house and so on, because I know that coming for me to. I need to work for it, but I’m happy to do so.

My plans and ideas for this year are as follows:

1.    Move with my family to Arizona.

2.    Get a job, someplace that I would like to work.

3.    Go to church every Sunday.

4.     Lose at least 50 pounds.

5.    Travel.

6.    Save practically all my money I make this year.

7.    Eat healthy I.E. organic, natural, GMO free, limited gluten, and no fast food.

8.    Gain a social life, with others my age.

9.    Contemplate future careers, and end up finally settling on one.

10.   Bowel management… (Sadly necessary)

11.   Read at least fifty books by the end of the year.

12.   Be active. Swimming, biking, rollerblading, and other fun activities.

13.   Blog more.

14.   Maybe start college again… Third try the charm hopefully.

15.   Do more art/sewing.

16.   Do more Photography

So what do you think of my little list?

Yes number fourteen says try College again for the third time. Last fall I had gone to NMC, ended up getting overwhelmed, stressed, and then withdrawing from school yet again. I also decided that I don’t want to be a Waldorf teacher. In fact have no idea what I want to be. I wrote down so many different career options, all of which take some amount college, or are unattainable without a fat trust fund. School has always been something I hated, and when I say hate, I mean loathed. In today’s world seems you can’t do anything without a college degree… Blah. Oh well, I will be optimistic and try again. Third time is the charm right?

Question for you readers, how hard is it to learn fluent French? 

To end with some upsetting news. My stepdad went into the ICU, and has been told he has Necrotizing fasciitis. It is a life threatening flesh-eating bacteria. Prayers please!

"I regret those times when I've chosen the dark side. I've wasted enough time not being happy."

-- Jessica Lange